As much as I like to fight it, I am clumped in with the millions of Americans with crazy mood swings right now. For most of my five weeks here in North Carolina I have felt separated from the chaos, as the town that I am in has been spared of any Corona cases. Being out of a tiny NYC apartment and into a house with a lake view made me feel safe and in control again. That is until real life problems started to soak into the walls I had built up around me. Rent was due, grocery bills kept coming longer than I expected to be here, unemployment felt like a knife being twisted in my gut with no blood bank in sight to fill me with what I had lost.
The breakdown day came in like wrecking ball (because that is the song that is now stuck in my head) and anything I would usually find a positive spin on turned to devastation in the blink of an eye. Logically I knew that I was doing everything I could, but anxiety said otherwise. I let the day of frustration rush over me as I quickly realized nothing could be done in the moment to fix the problems I was facing.
The next day the world became significantly brighter and one of my all time favorite hashtags came across my screen. #BatShitGrateful was started by Maxie McCoy, author of You’re Not Lost, a book I highly recommend. There are so many uncertainties in life right now, but one thing I am very certain of is that I am #BatShitGrateful for the what I do have. Sometimes I have to make myself stop and remember everything that I am grateful for. Other days it overwhelms me just to think about how many blessings I have around me. No matter how stressful any day might be, there is always a list of things to be thankful for.
I am forever grateful for my support system, my health, and sunsets. What are you grateful for today?