What do I Regret?

A few days ago I was on the phone with my mom (nothing new about that), and she asked if I regretted some of the decisions I had made since moving here. My parents are my biggest cheerleaders so this was not her telling me that I had done something wrong. The questions came from a place of genuine curiosity.

In the less than a year since moving to New York City I have experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows of my life. This is something I could have expected, leaving the comfort of home and a small town for a big city all on my own. The problem is that no matter how much you prepare yourself, the lows still hurt like Hell. I can even walk into a situation knowing that even though it seems great, it’s probably not the best idea, and the fall out still knocks the wind out of me.

The thing about all the pain is that all the process of getting up every time makes me just a little bit stronger and smarter. Trust me when I say that there are punches that take me much longer to get up from then others, but no matter what I will keep standing.

When you’re down to nothing, God’s up to something.

I have chosen a career path that is known for kicking hard and consistently. Only the strongest (mentally and physically) survive. It can be daunting to look at all of the work I have ahead of me in my career. And then there’s also the fact that a styling career only has a 10-15 year career span. Before I’m 40 it’ll be like starting over. Am I crazy? Probably. But there’s nothing else I’d rather do so I’m here, boxing gloves and all, ready to fight.

So, the answer to my mom’s question is no. I don’t believe in regrets. Living in the past means never moving forward. There is nothing I can do about what has already happened. The only thing that I can change is the future and I plan to use every physical and mental bruise to build my endurance and become a better writer, stylist, friend, family member and person in general.

Earrings: J.Crew // Tank :Banana Republic // Jeans: Levi’s